Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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