YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Randomize
