Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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