We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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