Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
