People with herpes should wear stickers.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
