i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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