Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize