So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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