Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
