the new term for farting is butt boxing.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
