If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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