Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
