Umm I'm too high to move.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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