glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
