I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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