Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
