I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
