After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize