I wish I could punch you in the face.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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