Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
