Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
