Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
