I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize