Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
