Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
