best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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