I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just want to make out with him forever
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
