Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
