Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i now understand why vodka
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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