oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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