Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
