ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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