I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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