the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
