It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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