I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
