do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize