just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize