I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
