I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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