so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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