she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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