My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
