no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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