i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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