Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
