she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Randomize
