You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
