remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
