My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
