True but thats because hes a fetus.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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