whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
