Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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