Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
dude i'm inner monologue high
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
