Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
