I'm lost and stupid without you.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
