I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
