wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
