Pappa wants mamma naked
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Found the puke drawer
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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