I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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