At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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