Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
