Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
