Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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