dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
