I must be too annoying 4 u.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
