She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
