Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize